The darkness of life is so suffocating. I want to hope for something better, something more. But I don’t see it. I can’t find it, all there is, is sadness...bleak hopelessness. The cake of my life frosted with bitterness and a heaping dose of anger on the side. How did I get here? Can I blame the deprivation of love or is it something more. Something within me, ordained before I ever drew my 1st breath. I wish that I had someone. One special someone, someone to really look at me and say, “Hey, I see you and you matter.” I can’t fully comprehend that, actually mattering to someone. Perhaps that’s what joy is, seeing as how I can’t comprehend that either. I’d give anything to be able to fit in somewhere. To have someone hold me, and just know that finally I had found home. My harbor, safe from the world and all it’s ugliness. There must be others like me. The lonely people out there, like me, that go through life faking the smiles, giving empty chuckles and afraid to wish. Unable to wish because we all know the sad reality that wishing only wounds the heart.

I'm back.

Life at Sunny Post, hasn't been so sunny... so here I am. Once again, in my dark cloud of gloom and despair. Which is pretty much what you've become. My secret little place to go and just rant, cry, scream... despair.

Nothing is as I had expected it to be.
Life keeps going, but my soul remains stalled.
Darkness, cloudy, empty cold spaces my home.
Something is missing, the residence of Fall.